Posted on July 22, 2009 in buliding stuff, shiny / glowy, welding, wiring by kaz3 Comments »

Holy shit, is it Halloween already? Well I guess I’d better go ahead and post about this thing I just finished, the mega-spooky doom-skull of Inappropriate Nudity! OK it really has very little to do with nudity, and I may have finished it just a bit before the most recently passed iteration of Halloween, but you know how it is. Don’t you? You’d better, by God.

Old Eyes, New container

Old Eyes, New container

The idea here was to take that disembodied ping-pong ball eye thing I made Back in The Day, and embody it with a plastic skull for maximum spookiness. Now that I think about it, you really can’t get much more inappropriately nude than bare bone, so my original statement stands. Now if you’ll just follow me through this jump…


Posted on June 15, 2008 in welding by kaz2 Comments »

Buy Now

If you’re like me, then you’re tired of worrying about the same boring things day-in and day-out. Sure, ridiculous fuel prices and worldwide poverty are fine for Barry Pleberson and the Lowbrow Bunch, but not me! Like many of you, I live in a basement, rarely see the light of day, and eat only a potent mash of No-Doz, Vicodin, and Smarties, for which I expect to receive FDA approval any day now.

No, tramps like us, baby we were born to run… from zombies.

That’s right, the zombie apocalypse is just around the corner, what do you intend to do about it? For all you know, the zombie apocalypse just may be my next project, and THEN where will you be? Standing athwart the helm of the USS Totally Fucked as it circles the drain, that’s where.


Unless you take appropriate preparatory measures.

We’ve all seen what happens to those who are caught by surprise by the zombie apocalypse. Guns are useless, trucks and explosives are effective but unwieldy. What you need is the ZOM-B-GONE, and I’m just the man to show you how to make one.

Bat-Cut Take it ALL off

First, I used a hacksaw to cut a notch roughly the size of an axe head into an aluminum Tee-ball bat, available at many convenient garage sales and thrift stores.

Next, I stripped off all the paint using a wire wheel, but you needn’t. If, for instance, you find the zombies are already prying off your hastily applied window boards, you may feel free to skip this step.

axe-head To make the axe part, I welded a pair of steel flat washers to the top and bottom of the old axe head I sized the previous notches to fit. These are for threading a long bolt through to shore up the inevitably shoddy welds that will result from trying to fuse steel to aluminum.
The spike spike sharpened

The spike started life as some sort of valve wrench I got at a junk yard. You could probably use something similarly shaped, as long as it is roughly the same metal as your axe head. Otherwise the weld won’t hold very well and everyone will refer to you as the zombie who used to be a guy that tried to fuse dissimilar parent metals. Yes, people are cruel sometimes.

I chopped the round bit off, and sharpened the pointy bit with angle and bench grinders.

U-bolt alone handle To make the hand guard, I took a giant busted U-bolt, chopped off the ends, welded a spoon to the bottom, and a metal pipe clip to the top.
All Together Now Horizontal Close-up head

Run a bolt though the whole shebang, starting with the spoon at the base of the handle, and ending with the washers on the head of the axe.

I attached the top of the hand guard to the bat with 4 steel pop-rivets, and the spike to the top with an eye-bolt over the central bolt.

Then, I welded pretty much everything. The places where I was welding steel to aluminum served more or less to make the joints a tight fit, but I’m of the opinion that more welding is better than less welding, so I went ahead and welded the shit out of it.

Anyway, after all that cooled off and the pleasant red mist of “welding lust” faded from my vision, I put a couple coats of pretty Rustoleum on it and wrapped a tennis racket grip around the handle. Again, if this is a rush job for you, please feel free to skip these finishing touches.
Posted on May 27, 2008 in misc, Uncategorized, welding by kazNo Comments »

Or not called love, as you wish. This week I fixed a karaoke machine (no pictures sorry) constructed a bottle-rocket launcher to honor our fallen troops, and made a remarkably un-sexy new case for my computer to live in. All three of these were hack-jobs and not deserving of their own project, so I lump them together like a package of Big League Chew (“You’re in the big leagues when you chew Big League Chew!™”)

Karaoke Machine: The tattered remains of my sense of shame prevent me from posting any pictures of my ill-advised karaoke machine repair. I feel much the same way about that as I do about one-handing kittens over the backyard fence with a tee-ball bat. Sure, I do it, but I’m not about to provide a photographic record.

Bottle Rocket's Red Glare...The Bottle Rocket Launcher I made solely to honor the brave members of our armed forces who died defending this mighty nation. What better way to memorialize the atrocities of war than by getting drunk and chucking small, poorly-made explosives at your friends? I posit that there IS no better way, especially if those explosives were made by Communists!
Here it is, pictured to the left. Mostly it’s welded out of spare parts, but I’m pretty sure the tubes were part of a $10 stick lamp, the adjustable hinge-thing was from the neck part of an outdoor floodlight, and the flat piece with holes in is half a joiner plate. The C-clamp was probably from space or something. No way in hell would I use a regular C-clamp after that week I spent chained to a loading dock in Belize.

The case mod I wasn’t really aware I was doing until it was too late, that’s why I have no “before” pictures. The gist of it was this though. I took a standard-issue beige 10 bay tower, spray-painted it black, added a sexy extra fan, a more magic switch, and a Big Red Reset Button with a cover.

oh yeah I should start taking pictures huh?

Done-ish More Magic
Posted on May 12, 2008 in cutlery, welding by kazNo Comments »

No it's not a steel magnolia, smartassAh, Mother’s Day; hooray for invented holidays. Well I refuse to support the multinational gift ham conglomerate. Instead I choose to give my cash to that scrappiest of underdogs, The Spoon Consortium. Right, so basically I welded my mom a flower out of spoons.


  • Spoons
  • half a tounge
  • 2 big washers
  • a big acorn nut
  • a bunch of spray paint
Posted on April 21, 2008 in cutlery, quick clamps, welding by kazNo Comments »
Hey hey hey, who needs another crappy quickclamp anyway? Not me, that’s who. What do I need? I need a way to make the speakerphone on my cell not suck, so here we go.weld some crap onto the fixed end of the clamp, bend up a fork and zip-tie it to the movable end of the clamp. Add a right angle beaker clamp thing from a garage sale chemistry set, and voila. Now I can clamp the stupid cell phone to themic stand and bend it over to my head-hole.