I’m sorry I haven’t updated for damn near 2 months. Yeah, I’ve been in a coma or something. Why am I finally back? It was a little piece of fan mail that made me realize I could no longer deprive you of Weak Things. It went a little something like this:
Your mother asked me tor remind you to bring back her Tupperware when you come to dinner this Sunday. Also, I wouldn’t mind seeing my circular saw, glue gun, basin wrench, dado bits, air compressor, mini sledge, miter box, sawzall, ratchet ties, plunge router or angle grinder again before I die. You can’t still need all that stuff for your silly website, can you?
Yes “BigKaz,” you’ll be happy to know that I “Still need all that stuff.” This silly website gets over 4 hits a day! Not Including me! Besides, I’m sure you have a good couple of years left in you, whomever you may be.
Anyway, on to the stuff. 2 whole things this week, although maybe “whole” is a bit grandiose. I think it’s fairly clear that I haven’t taken this much time between postings to concentrate on quality.
HAM HOLES DOT COM
The Glorious and Long-Awaited Launch of HamHoles.com!
I suppose I never really took the life-lesson of “not spending money on idiotic things” to heart. How else to explain my purchase of yet another domain name? I suppose I could say I was just doing my part to block a potentially very creepy porn site from gaining a toehold on the internet, but that’s just silly. No, actually it’s the future platform for a daring new performance art piece where I dig a hole in your yard, fill it with pork, then charge you $20,000 after my friend Alice breaks your soul with impressive art terminology. Yes, in fact we can perform at birthday parties.
A fake book for landfill embeleshment applications
- cut out some cardboard
- coat one side of the cardboard with spray glue
- cover the glue side of the cardboard with cheap cloth
- assemble some styrofoam into the shape of a books guts
- spraypaint a strip of paper as wide as the styrofoam and as long as 3 sides (you can skip this step if you can cut styrofoam accurately
- glue the strip to the foam, then glue the foam in the book
- Close it all up with lots more glue
- Smirk with pride, knowing you’ve just spit into the face of the ancient and venerable art of bookbinding.