Inspired by the first few seconds of this video, and intended to take advantage of the ever-growing “Miniature Pet Shark” trend, I built this prototype for my friend Alice’s shark Bitey.
Bitey has been known to frenzy at the drop of a meat-hat, and woe be to the face that gets in his way. On an unrelated note, if you just want to see the important part of that linked video over and over and over again you may do so here: http://chum.kazco.org/
GO GO GO!
Previously, on THINGAWEAK…
AND NOW, The Stunning Conclusion to Mega-Spooky Doom-Skull of Inappropriate Nudity, just in time for Halloween:
OK, so at this point you should have a pair of eyes but nowhere to stick em, and nothing to stick em with. Ain’t that always the fuckin’ way? Well if you started this project without a skull to put the eyes into, and just figured I’d show you how to Magickck one out of raw firmament… you’re right!
Go to your kitchen and get a big knife, a plastic grocery bag, a lighter, and some flammable liquid. If you have one of those motorized turkey carvers grab that too). Now go downtown and find a hobo. Be very careful when sneaking up on it, each strand of a hobo’s hair is actually a tiny eye stalk, so the ones with the wildest hair can see in many directions at once. The first thing to do upon initiating your attack is to SEPARATE THE HOBO FROM ITS BINDLE AND BURN THE BINDLE. I cannot stress this enough. An average bindle contains anywhere from 200-300 Hobo Eggs, any of which is fully capable of turning you into a shambling incubator with an unquenchable thirst for Thunderbird.
Bindle taken care of? Good! The hobo is almost certainly circling you with its jaw distended and its rows of fangs glistening with ichor. Within moments it will begin shrieking a summons to its unholy kin, so now is the time to act!
Thrust the knife repeatedly at an upward angle in between the plates of its thorax until the Hobo has stopped moving. Now detach its head however you see fit and scuttle on home. There are plenty of flesh-stripping / bone bleaching tutorials out there on the internet, so I feel no need to explain that bit to you. Point is, you now have a skull. If you’d planned ahead just a little, you’d have picked a plastic one up from your local discount store last Halloween, but there’s no point in crying over spilled hobo. Seriously. They wouldn’t cry for you even if they had the appropriate glands to do so, don’t trouble yourself overmuch. ONWARD. Depending on the kind of skull you’ve acquired, you’ll need different tools to get inside. The end result should be removing the top-rear quadrant of the skull and clearing out the eye-sockets (assuming this is not done already) as pictured. (more…)
Holy shit, is it Halloween already? Well I guess I’d better go ahead and post about this thing I just finished, the mega-spooky doom-skull of Inappropriate Nudity! OK it really has very little to do with nudity, and I may have finished it just a bit before the most recently passed iteration of Halloween, but you know how it is. Don’t you? You’d better, by God.
The idea here was to take that disembodied ping-pong ball eye thing I made Back in The Day, and embody it with a plastic skull for maximum spookiness. Now that I think about it, you really can’t get much more inappropriately nude than bare bone, so my original statement stands. Now if you’ll just follow me through this jump…
Although I have a hard time believing that any of you plucky readers are not actually people I know “IRL,” I suppose it’s technically possible. That being the case, you’re probably wondering why I haven’t updated my shit in like a year. The answer is that I’ve sold out to The Man and gotten a Real Job animating power plant diagrams. This had the effect of relegating all my freelance clients to what was once my “spare time.” Since this was the time formerly used to build stuff, update this site, and sleep, I’ve been forced to cut back on all these frivolous pastimes. Once I’m out of current clients, however, I fully intend to resume my rigorous posting schedule. Thank you for your rats asses,
The Science Musical is coming to your city, if your city is Atlanta Georgia. If it isn’t, well then I guess I lied. Try not to let your mascara run all over the tattered remains of your belief that the Internet is a medium for Truth. Anyway, The thing that the last several things have been props for will be performed:
This Sunday, November 16 2008 at Relapse Theatre on or around 7:30PM
Poorly documented? Don’t mind if I do! Today I have for you something I’ve always wanted to build, and finally did: A functional big damn knife switch. The sort that is generally referred to with the phrase “Throw The Switch!” just before something high voltage and squishy occurs. I only took 5 pictures of this one, so I just labeled them. This switch, as so many past things, was a prop for the Science Musical.
There comes a time in every young scientist’s life when he or she needs a vial of Liquid Awesome. It could be the final component needed to complete an army of face-punching robots. Maybe they’re completely out of Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake and are ready for the ‘hard stuff’. Heck, they might even need it as a prop in a vaguely Science-themed musical to be performed in front of wasted hippies! Who knows? The point is that although I am not particularly young, not technically a “scientist,” or even in possession of what one might call a “life,” that time came for me. And now, word philanthropist that I am, I shall SHARE as much of my construction process as I can remember or bothered to take pictures of. (more…)
Hi there, everyone! I’m sure you’re both wondering where Kaz is!
It turns out that, along with being ugly and generally disagreeable, Kaz is quite lazy, and has enlisted me to write up his latest thing this weak week. Being a friendly and helpful sort, I asked for a lucrative long-term contract, but apparently you have to be in a blogospherical writer’s guild or something? I don’t know. Whatever the reason, I’m not being paid, so you’ll just have to deal. On with the show!
Robot House, natch. Yes, it’s a joke from a TV show making fun of a movie that makes fun of Frat Life. It is also, however, what we call the house we live in. The reasons for this are kind of dumb and will likely not bear up under scrutiny, so lets just leave them be, eh boffins?
Most of my allotted “project time” is going towards the science-themed musical I’m helping to throw together for Alchemy this year, but I was able to finally finish this Robot House sign, which I’ve been working on since we moved into Robot House 1.0 many years ago. I didn’t document any of it, so comment or email if you can’t figure out what some of the pieces are and it’s really bugging you for some reason.
I’m sorry I haven’t updated for damn near 2 months. Yeah, I’ve been in a coma or something. Why am I finally back? It was a little piece of fan mail that made me realize I could no longer deprive you of Weak Things. It went a little something like this:
Your mother asked me tor remind you to bring back her Tupperware when you come to dinner this Sunday. Also, I wouldn’t mind seeing my circular saw, glue gun, basin wrench, dado bits, air compressor, mini sledge, miter box, sawzall, ratchet ties, plunge router or angle grinder again before I die. You can’t still need all that stuff for your silly website, can you?
Yes “BigKaz,” you’ll be happy to know that I “Still need all that stuff.” This silly website gets over 4 hits a day! Not Including me! Besides, I’m sure you have a good couple of years left in you, whomever you may be.
Anyway, on to the stuff. 2 whole things this week, although maybe “whole” is a bit grandiose. I think it’s fairly clear that I haven’t taken this much time between postings to concentrate on quality.
The Glorious and Long-Awaited Launch of HamHoles.com!
I suppose I never really took the life-lesson of “not spending money on idiotic things” to heart. How else to explain my purchase of yet another domain name? I suppose I could say I was just doing my part to block a potentially very creepy porn site from gaining a toehold on the internet, but that’s just silly. No, actually it’s the future platform for a daring new performance art piece where I dig a hole in your yard, fill it with pork, then charge you $20,000 after my friend Alice breaks your soul with impressive art terminology. Yes, in fact we can perform at birthday parties.